Ledelle Moe: Where is home?

In response to this question of Where is home? I reflected on the different places I have lived, where I grew up, and where I am now. I remember as a young person in South Africa the impact that television had on our lives when it came into the living room. Before television a relative bubble existed between us (in the South African suburbs) and the outside world. I grew up on a lot of English literature, Natal being a British based province; the school system was predominantly influenced by the British education system. When television entered into our private lives, it brought with it a window into the lives of Americans.

Through these programs the American West and the lives of the rich and famous were played out. I believe, looking back on it, that these movies and stories had an impact on my perception of the idea of the “center” and the “periphery.” America became an ideal, next to the ideal of the Queen, the Royal family and British culture in general. As a teenager I aspired to the notion of a culture that embraced blue jeans and autonomy for all. From the context of an all girls’ school where everyone was required to wear the same uniform, these notions of the relaxed American ideal became hugely informative to how I later moved and came to live in the States.

I can only see this now in hindsight. Thirteen years of living and working in the States, and returning home each year for a couple months has allowed the vantage point of being in both places but not feeling like I belong to either. I have become a visitor in South Africa and an immigrant here. These geographic locations and dislocations have made me realize that a sense of belonging can be found more often than not, on a train, in an aero plane and in the spaces in between each ideal place. I think these spaces in between have helped me realize that it is neither one nor the other but both that now makes up whom I am. Even back in the early 80s when we first bought a television (with strict rules to only watch it twice a week, and keep our family dinners and conversation going), American culture and ideals began to weave themselves consciously and subconsciously into my understanding of what it means to be “a part of the world.”

Through my undergraduate studies in South Africa, I was afforded the opportunity to travel to Paris. Friends and I packed our bags and left South Africa for the first time in 1992. Landing in Paris was like a dream come true. We traveled to London, Germany, Italy, seeing Damien Hirst’s shark in formaldehyde and Bruce Nauman’s work for the first time. What we thought art was was flipped on its head and the expansiveness of vocabulary and diversity of work was amazing.

We returned back to South Africa with a new sense of experimentation and desire for alternative voices, and initiated what later became the FLAT Gallery. In this space we had shows that we hoped crossed boundaries of race, class and institutional preconceptions. The FLAT ran for a couple years and provided me with a clear understanding that art can transcend many boundaries that would otherwise exist.

Traveling on a scholarship from South Africa again in 1994 I left Durban to visit the States for a couple weeks. That trip was meant to last a short while and has since taken me on a journey that I am still on today. I have now lived and worked in the States for 13 years, returning back to South Africa annually during the academic summer. As a teacher at the Maryland Institute College of Art I can return home during the summer vacation time. I remain strongly tied to where I was born - to the smells and deep recognition that comes from having grown up in a place. I was born in Durban, a coastal city that overlooks the Indian Ocean. Returning home means going back to the same address I have had for 37 years. The house itself is a place so layered with memories that it always reminds me that, for me, it is only with this base that I could roam so far, and also with the unconditional support of people who believe in art and support it. I now live in Baltimore, a harbor city that has areas that look a lot like Durban’s Harbor. I hope one day to travel from this Baltimore harbor to Durban’s harbor – over the body of water, allowing more time to explore that space and place in between both worlds.

—Ledelle Moe, artist in Far from Home